the flipside;

Okay, I think the other few reasons attributing to my gloominess are the looming exams (tomorrow!) and the prospect of not having sis around for the whole of next week. If both were to happen in separate occasions, I believe the dread I were to experience would be minimal, and not mounting as of now.

But nevertheless, I must remind myself that there's a flip side to everything. And that taking a more optimistic perspective would create a kind of imaginary bubble inside of me that can pull me through this seemingly tough week in a more positive manner (i.e I would not wallow and  mop around with a depressed face).

Firstly, while the exams commence tomorrow, I would have my last paper on Saturday morning, and no paper at all on Wednesday. Therefore, my exams only last for a week! A week! And we all know a week flies pass in a blink of an eye! Before I'd know it, my exams will be over, and I can spend more time doing stuff that I enjoy without feeling a constant burden that is weighing me down. Also, I have one paper each day, lasting for only two hours! So, it is actually going to be over as soon as I start, and university is such that, if you complete the paper before the given time and the one hour mark has passed, you can leave the examination room. If I were to find myself in such a situation (not sure if that means the paper is easy or too difficult for me to write anything), then I would find myself one paper down earlier! Furthermore, there will not be any paper on Wednesday, and I can study on Tuesday and the whole of Wednesday, and then go for bible study in the evening, which I believe is of great importance for me, both spiritually and mentally (definitely going to be a boost for me!). Before long, Saturday morning would have arrived, and by the time I'm heading for cell group at Daryl's place, I'd be a considerably happier person :D

And its a good thing that sis is going for her history Vietnam school trip; something that will truly enrich her learning. I mean, Vietnam has a rich and sad story, and the things she would learn and see over there; the orphanages (those affected by the Agent Orange), the development of Communist Vietnam after the long and treacherous Vietnam War etc. Wow, she'd enjoy herself so much! I would give anything to go visit Vietnam too! Sis and I talk a lot with each other as well, especially at night, where we will share our thoughts and everyday happenings with each other at the dining table, in our room, on the sofa... So maybe her one week school trip will enable me to concentrate on my studies better, and that I would not be distracted to strike up another chit chat session with her. And as mentioned, a week will pass by so fast, sis will be back on Sunday so quickly!

So yes! Looking at the flip side sure help me alleviate some of the dread that is forming around my chest area, and I know that I can lean on God for His divine Strength and Peace. Strange enough, remember my last post? About feeling so lost and sick about life, not knowing what to do? Pastor Phil Pringle's message today was like an answer to my question and confusion, and I know for sure that God was reading my blog. Haha. Of course, listening to Pastor Phil and feeling renewed, empowered and challenged is one thing; getting the momentum and go about looking for opportunities and breakthroughs is another. But I know and I know that  THAT is life. You cant just sit back, be passive and watch the world go by. You wont amount to anything at the end of your life if you just decide to be part of an audience. I really thank God so much for always throwing me a lifeline. He is indeed my life, my Salvation. 

Another thing that really lifted up my spirits was seeing my eyecandy in church today! Its not every Sunday that I can catch him around, so each time he serves at my cell group sitting area, I'm always so grateful. I mean, its not that I like him or anything, its just that its nice to look at him. I always remember how spotting my eyecandies back in my JC never fails to crack a smile on my face. Superficial??? Well, I think eyecandies are just you know, people that appeals to you and attracts your attention, and you just like to look at them, the way they behave, talk whatever. Just like how one likes to look at say, Steven Gerrard or Rupert Grint. Haha. You wouldnt exactly like the person in a romantic kind of way because you dont really know him/her but looking at him/her just makes you happy. Its similar to eating your favourite hokkien mee, hearing your favourite song or watching Liverpool play. It just makes you happy in a non-romantic kind of way. Haha. But I'd admit, the last eyecandy I had back in JC, well, it turned into a serious crush, but that's because I got to know the person already. Haha!

Okay, enough of blogging (really cathartic man!). Time to hit the power point slides again! Adios amigos :D

turtle,
21nov2010 825pm